Dating Abuse Class Urges Reliance on Peers Over Parents
By: Administrative Account | Source: CNSNews.com
April 29, 2006 6:07AM EST

By Randy Hall
CNSNews.com Staff Writer/Editor
April 28, 2006

(CNSNews.com) - A curriculum dealing with dating abuse among teenagers was endorsed by two members of the U.S. Senate this week as a way to stop a "frightening and deadly cycle of children hurting children." However, the leader of a pro-family group called the program "a waste of school time" because it teaches teens to seek help from peers before turning to their parents.

"Teen dating violence exists today in every community," Sen. Mike Crapo (R-Idaho) said during a news conference held Tuesday on Capitol Hill. "It is a precursor to adult domestic violence and has incredibly high social and economic costs for our society."

Crapo pointed to the results of a survey conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, which stated that one in five teenagers said he or she has been hit, slapped or punched by a boyfriend or girlfriend. One-third of teens also worry about their safety and just as many feel pressured to have sex, according to the poll.

The psychological damage is also pervasive, the survey contends. One-fourth of teen victims state that their partner's controlling behavior isolates them from family and friends. More than half report that they have compromised their beliefs to please a boyfriend or girlfriend.

The poll also found that 73 percent of teens in an abusive relationship preferred to talk about the problem with friends. Only 54 percent said they would be willing to discuss the situation with their parents.

"With teenagers experiencing three times more intimate partner violence than women as a whole, programs specifically focusing on teenagers are essential," said Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.)

Both senators expressed their support for "Love Is Not Abuse," a three-session plan for 9th and 10th-grade health or English classes that draws on poetry, essays, writing and literature to teach teens how to better manage their emotions and stand up for themselves in the face of abusive relationships.

"Unfortunately, too many teens are unaware that violence and abuse in relationships is wrong, it is unusual, it is not just part of their everyday life experience, and this is where this curriculum comes in," Clinton said.

The Love Is Not Abuse website states that the aim of the lesson plan is "to raise awareness about the problem of dating violence, recommend resources for students in need" and "help prevent dating violence from occurring in the future."

Among the resources for teens listed in the curriculum are "school counselors, psychologists, social workers, youth ministers and recommended online resources," as well as "hotlines and domestic violence prevention organizations, law enforcement agencies, victim service providers and mental health counselors."

'Unique obstacles'

Cybercast News Service obtained a copy of the 53-page curriculum. While the inside front cover states that "handbooks for adults, teenagers and parents on domestic and dating violence can be ordered" from a toll-free number or downloaded from the website, the first time the word "parent" or "parents" appears in the curriculum text is on page 6.

As a step toward developing a school-wide program on dating abuse, the plan encourages students to "raise awareness about teen dating violence in your school."

"Educate the faculty, staff and parents about the issue and how to respond to students seeking help," the curriculum urges.

Two paragraphs later, students are encouraged to "make it clear that it is acceptable to talk about dating violence at school." One way to accomplish this, the lesson plan states, is to "invite staff from a local domestic violence organization to speak to students, staff and/or parents."

On page 20, one of the "unique obstacles" faced by teens in recognizing and escaping abusive relationships is described as "pressure from peers and parents to be in an intimate relationship."

The only times a parent or parents are listed as making a positive contribution to dealing with a teen's abusive relationship is in a handout on page 44 of the text.

To increase his or her safety, the teen is encouraged to "talk with a trustworthy adult (e.g., parent, guardian, teacher, counselor, clergy member) about what you are experiencing. Doing so can help you to feel less isolated."

Three paragraphs later, a teen in an abusive relationship is encouraged to get a restraining order or a protective order "with help from a trustworthy adult (e.g., parent, guardian, teacher, counselor, clergy member)."

Jane Randel, vice president for corporate communications at Liz Claiborne, Inc., which helped develop the curriculum, told Cybercast News Service that, "Obviously, parents, teachers, coaches, anyone in authority that can help are people we want teenagers to talk to."

Randel pointed to the results from the Teenage Results Unlimited survey, which showed that teens "weren't going to parents; they were going to each other, so we wanted to be able to give them the tools to help each other appropriately.

"Going forward in our next round of edits in the curriculum will probably include a little bit more about how to engage the parents in the discussion," she added.

"In all of our materials, the biggest recommendation is to go to the experts, whether you're a parent, a teacher or a kid, because these are tough issues, and a lot of parents wouldn't quite know what to do either," Randel said.

'Wrong hierarchy'

Linda Harvey, president of the pro-family group Mission America, told Cybercast News Service that she considers the curriculum "a waste of school time."

"It does address an emerging problem in our society in America, that more and more teens are involved in more and more explosive relationships, and certainly, this is an effort to address that," Harvey said.

"The problem with this curriculum, as with so many things constructed by liberals who tend to look at teenagers as if they were adults, is that it tries to address incredibly complicated and serious issues with teenagers without getting the police and their parents involved," she added.

"In doing that, they really try to perform the role of therapists at school, which does a couple of things," Harvey said. "First of all, school needs to be talking about academics and school work, and the time spent on some of these social engineering things needs to diminish greatly.

"In addition to that, there's a place for counseling, and I think that this should be done within the counseling department of each school," she stated.

"Most of the action in this curriculum is peer to peer, having kids analyze their own problems to try to solve them themselves or else going to a peer, who is a bystander, and -- sort of as a last resort -- going to an adult in charge, including a parent," Harvey said.

"That is really the wrong hierarchy of who you address in this," she stated. "Parents need to be first. Police and public officials need to be next. Counselors, clergy and peers are way down the line."

Harvey said she is a former teacher and a parent. "I would not recommend any school taking this on as a curriculum," she said. "To have this in high schools, is the wrong use of time and the wrong way to address what is indeed a serious problem."

See Earlier Story:
Teens Report Surge in Dating Abuse (June 10, 2005)

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