Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry vacations in multimillion-dollar mansions, owns a $700,000 yacht, rides exotic Italian motorcycles and helps finance it all with a millions in annual income from family investments in Heinz Foods.
But Kerry's campaign won't release one iota of tax information on the jackpot that keeps him living in style, because he files his tax return separately from his wife, ketchup heiress Teresa "Don't Call Me Mrs. Kerry" Heinz.
Of course, none of this bothers the partisan press, which blithely reported on Kerry's tax-filing yesterday without noting that the bulk of his income comes from "separate" sources, and that tax info on the Kerry family's main cash stash will remain top secret.
To hear the media tell it, the Massachusetts Democrat manages to get by on a relatively meager $395,338 annual salary, on which he paid $90,575 in taxes.
But mum's the word on the tax status of America's first-lady-in-waiting, Teresa Heinz, whose holdings approach three-quarters of a billion dollars.
Is America entitled to know the taxable details of Teresa's treasure? You be the judge.
When Kerry's campaign was headed down the toilet last December, suddenly the missus' income didn't sound so separate. Hubby John simply mortgaged "his half" of the Beacon Hill mansion she had purchased with her ketchup cash years before.
Then there was the couple's vacation last month, which saw the candidate schussing down the slopes in Ketchum, Idaho, before retiring for the evening in Teresa's $5 million ski chalet.
According to the Fox News Channel, Teresa's current holdings in the Heinz Foods Empire continue to net a pretty penny - "up to $20 million" per year.
Kerry's $150,000 Senate salary is, by comparison, pocket change.
So, how much of their actual household income do Mr. and Mrs. Kerry fork over to the IRS? As far as the pro-Democrat press is concerned, the answer seems to be "Don't ask, don't tell."